'~Shizzzles~'

Anger Management :))

Because I am supermad (but not really still supermad right now, just a tad bit lesser), I am going to post my Rage Levels.

Nikki’s RAGE LEVELS 101 aka the Art of Anger Management

1. Level 1 - Distaste: It’s when I utterly do not like a person, place, event, act, or thing.
2. Level 2 - Anger Type A: When I really really really don’t like you that I want to scream at you. 
3. Level 3 - Anger Type B: When I really^3 don’t like you that I want pull my hair and eat you alive but I can’t because I’m still conscious.
4. Level 4 - Rage (initial stage): This is the part when I deliberately show my hatred by shooting glares, making loud noises, banging, etc. But no screaming of profanities. Maybe some minor cursing but no shouting. Really.
5. Level 5 - Rage (intermediate stage): This is like the silence before the storm. I will storm out (walk out), or just stop talking and will begin ignoring everything. But deep inside, I have already begun strangling you, tying you up a post, castrate you, then leave you to die and bleed by yourself. Then feed your innards to your relatives. Or kill them first and lock you up inside a room with their dead bodies leaving you no choice but to eat them to survive. (thank you 9gag for this awesome last idea.) Furtherest level reached, so far. Hence, all are safe within my brain.
6. Level 6 - Rage (the final stage): It will be a miracle to survive. Run for you lives.

What I want to say really is that I want people to know that my silence during times of argument, conflict, etc. actually means that I’m really really really very very very mad. It doesn’t mean I have backed out. I am actually trying to control myself. Because I know I shall be shouting profanities and other things which shall might cause me to hate myself afterwards.

That is why I stop. Stay silent, and try to stop my emotions from ruling me over. I easily get mad, upset, angry over small things. Which I know sometimes is unreasonable.

AAAAND, I also believe in the saying,

“IF you have nothing good to say, shut up.”

And in Psychology in college, I actually learned from one of my professors that when you’re mad at someone you actually care for (friend, family, anybody), it is best to stay away, sleep, let it past you, before you confront them or talk to them. In the heat of our emotions and feelings, we might say things we don’t actually mean.

And so, it’s better to stay silent. At first that is. If its still so biatchingly annoying, then I guess all legalities be damned.

Hahaha!

*another brain fart. :P LOL

 

Me and my ‘What If’s’

*another personal entry. Please ignore this if you are following me for my fandom.* :)

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I immediately got myself a job and forgo my aspirations of travelling. I sometimes ask myself, “Kung naghanap kaya agad ako ng trabaho after boards, at kumikita na ako ngayon, ano kaya magiging pakiramdam ko?”

But still I end up knowing that I am happy with the decisions that I have made. I cannot deny that travelling is one of my greatest happiness. I enjoy talking with people, learning from a foreign culture, and gaining many new friends. The best part about travelling to a foreign land, for me, is the opportunity to see and realize that no matter how beautiful a first world country may be, no matter how awesome their economic status and cultures are, you will still, and always will, want to go home to your country. :)

Hindi ko man masabing, ‘Uy, I’m earning this or that **K a month,’ pero masasabi ko naman na wala akong pinagsisihan in the past months following my board exam.

I find it very hard, being a very prideful person, to say na wala pa akong ginagawa ngayon. But still, pinahahalagahan ko ang panahon na naigugugol ko dito sa amin. I have been away from my home and from my family, for four years. Mahaba na ang 2 weeks na bakasyon kung makauwi ako noon. But now, I am happily savouring and enjoying every minute. Kumbaga, parang nakabawi pa rin ako sa lahat ng time na hindi ko sila kasama in those 4 years - Time that was sacrificed for a better education. :)

One of the best lessons I have gained from the past months is that, money, power and status, are not visible in your family. You may be stripped down of these worldly things, but they will still love and accept you. Hindi mo mararamdaman na kelangan mo pala nung ibang bagay na ‘yun. Naiisip mo, pero hindi yung tipong naiiyak ka na sa lungkot dahil wala kang trabaho.

Burdens carried alone will always weigh a ton, but burdens carried with another will only be a grain of sand. :) -nikki **hahaha**

I am getting older, and so are my mom and dad. Yung perang dapat sanang kinita ko kung nagstay ako sa Manila at nagtrabaho, pwede ko pa ring kitain yun in the future. Pero yung oras na hindi sila kasama, hindi pwedeng ibalik. :)
 This ultimately makes me much more stronger and confident in my decisions. :)

One week nalang, babalik na naman ako ng Manila. Another long journey ahead of me. There are still several decisions to be made. Several milestones to achieve. But I am confident that I will make it to wherever God wills me to be.

AJA! Fighting! :D haha!
*sorry ang emo at korny nito. :)))

I don’t have a livejournal account kaya dito ako naglalabas ng brain farts. :))